Monogrammed Meltdown

A tee for those moments when the embroidery is perfect but everything else has fallen apart. The monogram is flawless—your initials rendered in pristine thread work, a small monument to the things you can still control. It's the kind of garment you wear on days when your therapist says you're "making progress," which apparently means having feelings about things in a structured environment.

The irony is not lost. Nothing says "I have my life together" quite like wearing a $120 tee that announces, through its very existence, that you do not. Your mother will comment on it. Your mother comments on everything. This is simply one more thing.

Rest assured the monogram is stitched with the precision of someone who has never experienced uncertainty. It will outlast your current life trajectory by several years.

Unisex heavyweight tee. Runs true to size.