Heir 2026: Still Summering Sad

A garment for those who've already committed to next summer's disappointment before this one has concluded. The kind of planning that only emerges after three generations of inherited melancholy and a therapist who specializes in generational wealth trauma. You will wear this to the Hamptons. You will still feel nothing.

The dual dating system acknowledges that time moves differently when you have nowhere to be. 2026 is simultaneously impossibly far away and already here, much like your emotional availability and your trust fund distributions.

Pairs well with existential dread, a decent Sancerre, and the vague sense that happiness is something other people experience in brochures.

Unisex heavyweight tee. Runs true to size.