Cotillion Crisis

A tee for those who understand that the real tragedy isn't the debutante ball itself, but rather the three weeks of etiquette coaching that precedes it. The white gloves. The curtsying. The dawning realization that you are being presented to society like a used car at an auction, albeit a very expensive one with excellent provenance.

Your therapist has already mentioned this shirt twice. She didn't need to say anything; the look was sufficient. You wore it to brunch last Sunday and your mother asked if you were feeling alright, which is her way of saying you looked depressed, which is her way of saying you looked authentic.

Perfect for those navigating the delicate balance between family expectations and the slow-burning resentment that comes with generational wealth. Also works if you simply enjoy watching other people's discomfort at black-tie events.

Unisex heavyweight tee. Runs true to size.